If you were wondering where your bounced dog went (oh wait…you probably weren’t)
February 24, 2011Yesterday we adopted a new family member, a 13-year-old brindle boy named Boozer, who has been with his current people since 2002. He has started to pee in the house, and since they have kids, they cannot keep him. Here’s what I say to that.
A message to Boozer’s people:
We are the family who is adopting your 13-year-old Boozer. I understand what it’s like when they start pottying in the house, especially when you are taking care of kids too… We had a 14 year old greyhound who did that too. His name was Palu. He wore diapers for the 2 years before his rear legs became too weak to walk and we had to help him die. Not a day goes by when I don’t wish I was still washing his 6 diapers a day, to still have that boy in my life.
While we had Palu, we also had 6 other greyhounds. Two of them had cancer and had their legs amputated. They were both doing chemotherapy at the same time. I sure do miss cleaning up post-chemo vomit, washing bloody bandage coverings, and helping them outside to potty in 17 inches of snow. Those two boys, Whitey and Apollo, were one of the biggest blessings in my life. I am so grateful that they found their way to me, after their other families found them to be too much trouble — even before the osteosarcoma.
We still have 6 greyhounds, mostly seniors, although thankfully none is seriously ill right now. Boozer will be our 7th. Oh, and we have kids too, just like you! Our 6-year-old has cerebral palsy and is missing nearly half her brain. She amazes me every day and her smile lights up any darkness. Our 4-year-old was left at an orphanage gate in Beijing on a cold March day. She’s the smartest and most creative child I’ve ever met. And in April, we’ll adopt our third daughter, a beautiful 3-year-old cancer survivor who is missing one arm and speaks no English. Can you believe how lucky I am? I can’t. I think Boozer will be a perfect addition to our home, and I am so happy to have him.
Are we saints? NO. We aren’t. Are we rich? Hell no! I’m a volunteer and a stay-at-home mom, and my husband works for the public schools. We are regular people. We are a family who believes in LOVE, compassion, and responsibility.
Don’t tell me that these dogs and kids are lucky to have us. We both know you’re saying that to make yourself feel better. For every drop of love we give them, they give us back oceans. We cannot imagine our lives without them.
I hope that your children are not learning from your heartless example, that family is only family when it is convenient. Otherwise, I’ll look for you under the bridges of downtown St Louis when you are old, incontinent, and…well…just not that much fun anymore.
Love,
Boozer’s Forever Mom
Amen Sister!!! Boozer will love his new home with you and your family!
P.S. Thanks for everything you do for the hounds!
Dear Boozer’s Mom
You rock! What a big heart you have and thank you for being such a good mom to the skin kids and the fur babies.
You have restored my faith in humanity.
Keep up the greyt work!
Karyn Zoldan – Tucson
Jennifer, you are a wonderful example to us all!!!
Christine
LOVE LOVE LOVE this!!! I feel the same way and get equally distraught when people dump their senior or special needs animals because they “can’t do it anymore.”
Bless you for your enormous hearts…
Well written. Thanks for putting yourself out there. I also have a bounced greyhound. She was 6 years old when she was bounced. The reason, kids and couldn’t afford her and her male greyhound housemate. The male was rehomed quickly as he’s very friendly. The girl was VERY shy and skittish. Originally I was just fostering her, BUT she was so happy at my house, my other dogs really seemed to like her and I fell madly in love with her. She’s a GREAT dog and I could not be happier or more blessed to have her in my life. Thanks for all you are doing for kids and dogs
Thank you – for writing on the important topic of adopting senior dogs and for being advocate for former racing greyhounds.
My wife and I have adopted six greys over the years and currently have four (along with six other rescues). Two are cancer survivors – one losing an ear and the other part of her jaw just over a year ago.
Dash, who lost the ear several years ago, is 13 and is incontinent. He has a very hard time with our hardwood floors now, so I carry him outside several times a day.
I wrote about and linked to your blog on my Pack Mentality Blog – http://packmentality.wordpress.com/.
Again, thank you for writing this really important piece about adopting senior dogs and caring for those with cancer.
To add to your love, try some compassion for others who do not have your strength, stamina, and depth of emotional resources.
I too adopted a ‘bounced’ 8 yr old greyhound who turned out to have Cushing’s disease, which was why he was peeing in the house.
Knowing what I do now, that he would be gone in 2 years and 10,000 dollars later, after having bitten my husband (badly) in the face, would I do it again?
The only thing I regret is the bite.
But the emotional load is great, and for those of use with less than depthless resources, children can be enough.
Owner of: Rosie at the bridge after 13 years,
Coach at the bridge after 2 years,
and Pipin (now 8) asleep at my feet.
Not to mention 2 teenagers
Jen,
I did not realize that this was from you, when I replied…
my point is, I guess, better a bounced greyhound that finds you than abused dog, child, or both…
Kathleen
Posted this reply on Facebook, but wanted to clarify my point here as well….
As my good friend Carl at Adopt a Greyhound Atlanta (who gave me my 1st 6 hounds) always said, “Every return is a good return.” I am GRATEFUL that Boozer’s people called his adoption group, rather than just ignoring his medical and emotional needs and letting him live a lonely life.
My point is that they CHOSE to return him, rather than choosing to “man up” and do what they needed to do for him. When you adopt a dog, you accept into your family a living, feeling creature who becomes totally dependent on you for his survival and happiness. You make a commitment. You promise to take care of him. These people broke that promise. Of COURSE a 13-year-old dog may have trouble making it through a whole work day without going potty. Ever hear of a dog walker? Doggie daycare? Diapers? A potty pad? WHat it comes down to is that they did not love him enough to keep their promise to him.
Yes, there are desperate circumstances, and in those cases even people who truly love their pets may have to make a heartbreaking decision to give them up. I respect that. Just as I respect that my children’s Chinese birth moms were in such unfathomable social and ecomonic conditions that they had to make the heartbreaking decision to abandon their daughters. Sometimes circumstances force you to do things you never thought you’d do, and break promises that you want to keep.
I have had 14 greyhounds and all but the 1st were returns from other homes (sometimes MULTIPLE homes). And in NONE of those cases was the family in desperate circumstances. I have heard everything from “We want to simplify our lives…Can you please get him out by Friday? We’re getting new carpet.” To “He’s growling at our 3-yr-old son. Well, you know, Tommy really doesn’t know the difference between petting and hitting….” And the ever-popular, “We have a bay now, and just don’t have time for him…” (If your life is so busy that having a baby is going to push you over the edge to having to give up your relatively low-maintenance dog, you should rethink having that baby.)
I would venture to guess that the VAST VAST majority of bounces are from people who just don’t take their responsibility to this living creature seriously. Who don’t think about how the dog might grieve the loss of the only people he has depended on for 9 years. Or who are so self-centered that they want to be free to take vacations with their new boyfriend (as in Goober’s case, available through Rescued Racers now) or focus on their kids’ hockey schedule, and the dog is just not fun anymore.
Those are the people I am talking to. Not the people who are giving up the dog because they have been unemployed for 2 years and can’t buy groceries, or who have terrible post-partum depression, or who have other devastating family circumstances.
Boozer’s family was just tired of him, plain and simple. And yes, they have shown their children that a promise doesn’t matter, and that living things are disposable.
Dear Boozer’s Forever Mom:
You might not be a saint but you are a wonderful, compassionate and caring individual. Your words were right on the mark. I find people who treat their pets like disposable furniture very distasteful. Some people are just too stupid to have a pet. All of your babies are beautiful. Thanks for caring. Elizabeth
Thank you for picking up the pieces after irresponsible and heartless or maybe just lazy people put their animals (hopefully not their kids)last. Good for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fantastic story and fantastic people. When life gets you down sometimes the only people you can count on are your dogs. I love my greyhound and can’t picture a day without her.
When are people who adopt a dog going to learn that it is a LIFETIME COMMITTMENT, the PET’S LIFETIME?!?
These are not disposable toys, but feeling beings who have probably been traumatized already, and now because of your irresponsibility, being “bounced” around again. You should be ashamed of yourselves. What a poor example you are to your children — if it’s inconvenient, just get rid of it. Please don’t ever get another pet!!! You don’t deserve one!
Thank you for this article. It is awesome. Also, thank you for being such an advocate for these dogs. You are truly a special family.
I just want to say THANK YOU for posting this. I think every one of those half ass families and pet “owners” who carelessly drop off their animals at shelters because they became “inconveniences”, should have to read this upon washing their hands of their abandoned pets.
If only more people in the world had a fraction of the love your family shows for eachother, animals, and people of the world in general.
This brought me to tears.
God bless you and your family.
One of the most passionate and heartfelt pieces I’ve ever read. Your last sentence sums it up very well. What goes around comes around.
God bless you. I work/volunteer at a gh rescue and the reasons people give for returning them just irritate me so. I always hope that what goes round comes round. Yes, someday we’ll all be old and feeble, and more.
Wonderful
We adopted our Miss Haley 12 years ago because she was too active.. I love that girl <3
Bless you for adopting Boozer. I am with a greyhound rescue and we also have a senior in foster care. His family dumped him after 8 years. He has epilepsy and a thyroid condition. Chase needs to find a family just like you! I have a house full of greys, a special needs dog and also foster a special needs dog. I love them all and agree with everything you said! Thank your for all you do for these wonderful greys!
Thank you for this!!!!
Jennifer,
Thank you for the most inspirational post I’ve read in, well, forever. Beautiful, inspiring and heartwarming. Saints? No one is. Angels on earth, yes you are.
Having just lost my very own senior pee-er last month from DM and sudden bleeding, I too had to help her cross the bridge.
You are a blessed angel. You and your husband both.
As a side note, I absolutely love the necklaces and pins I ordered. Beautiful.
Nancy
I’ve been reading about Boozer on GT but Thank You for posting this — it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read — and YES you ARE lucky.
you are awesome!!
I am so inspired by your letter. I have adopted a puppy – although not a greyhound – whose ears were not “perfect” enough for the puppy mill to sell him at their normal ridiculously high price. I absolutely LOVE his sweet, furry and floppy ears along with all the rest of him. He has made my life SO much fuller than it was before I met him. Cheers to you for being compassionate and loving. The world needs more folks like you and yours.
Jen and Lloyd you are special people to be chosen by a higher power to care for those who need the most care and love, both human and animal.
I’m happy to have met you.
Terry
I couldn’t have said it better!! Best of luck and love to you and your family! What an inspiration you are.
Thanks for posting this; you are amazing people!
Marcia in SC
and thats why there are people like you, same as nursing homes for the elderly. some people are just not equipped in any capicity to handle intent care taking. so kudo’s to you and kudo’s to the people that are big enough to step up and say they can’t do this
There is a distinction to be made here. I agree that most people are not cut out to work in a nursing home or hospice, nor to intentionally take in old and sick animals as we do. It does take a certain sort of will to repeatedly give your heart to dogs that you know will only live a few months, or to knowingly sign up for months of chemo treatments and round-the-clock care.
However — When you adopt a young dog or puppy, as most people do, you accept the responsibility to take care of THAT dog FOR ITS WHOLE LIFE. You don’t get to break your promise when it gets hard, or when it’s not fun anymore. Same thing when you have a baby.
Nobody WANTS their dog (or their child!) to get a chronic or terminal illness. That is not something people choose. But if that happens to someone you love, you pull yourself together and see them through it. That’s the loving and responsible thing to do.
(Moreover, in most return cases, it’s not even a terminal illness. It’s “can’t make it through a full work day without peeing at 13 years old, ” or “don’t have time for him, ” or “the kids play too rough for him and it scares him.” These are not things that would cause a loving and responsible person to get rid of a family member. These are things a loving and responsible person would find a solution to, especially when you have been that dog’s whole world for 9 years.)
Wow you guys are so cool! We started rescuing in 1993. We now have our 7th greythound…so gentle, sensitive and forgiving of the heinous treatent they received while on the track..you are so lucky and so are we..we have two adopted children, one with serious mental and behavioral problems, would we give him away if he starting peeing on the floor? What a ridiculous question.
Thank you so much for your story, what a wonderful start to my day..